My life is a series of writing and editing. Unfortunately I broken record on the writing portion and the editing has a way of never getting done. Some of my new favorite song lyrics drew my attention to this shortcoming.
You don't have no Dr. Robert,
You don't have no Uncle Albert,
You don't even have good credit.
You can write, but you can't edit.
Apart from referencing some of my favorite songs, this brief stanza seems to pinpoint in a painful manner all of the things I struggle with. Number one: I am terrible with money...this is the most excruciatingly obvious to me. But-- I am working on it...and am doing better...if it is anybody's fault it is my fault....well, really it is nobody's fault. Success is relative, let's just say that.
Another similarity to note is that I am in a constant state of apology. Whether warranted or not, I will apologize. I used to have to run laps in tennis every time I would utter a brief "sorry" for missing the ball....which was frequent. Let's just say that my tennis career was brief at best. Yes, We're so sorry. Uncle Albert. Cause we haven't done a single thing all day. My inert state, lack of productivity speaks for itself.
And this brings us to the most important couplet: "you can write, but you can't edit". Anyone who has been around me for even a brief period of time knows that I get carried away in, as my hero Jane would say, 'flights of fancy'. Creation. Creation is the first step, and the first step only. I am a broken record, skipping jarringly over and over the creation step, unable to move forward and finish the track. I need to Edit. I need to edit so many things. This is not a skill that comes naturally to me. I add, add, add, add, add, until all my fruits are a veritable mountain. Subtraction, editing, is a vital and necessary part of life. One must assess and re-asses in order to achieve a mountain worth achieving. I have created a mountain, but not the right one.
Edit.
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10 years ago
4 comments:
ok, hannah, i came to your blog because i felt that i needed to clarify my comments from a previous post. i don't know exactly how you feel - i always loved being away from home at school (really it's a tribute to your mom that you want to go home at times) - but that i knew what you meant about "still the same me." i always delude myself into thinking a change of venue or circumstance will drastically change me. but now that you clarified some of your foibles, i'm relating to you tons!! i'm horrible with $ (just ask pat) and i would've been running laps in tennis too (my opa used to always say to me: "you don't look sorry.") i'm not sure where i stand on the edit thing; i think i actually enjoy editing my writing. editing creations? don't make enough to know.
anyhoo, bottom line, i'm loving learning about you. you are pretty dang awesome with your moleskin journals, awesome jewelry, amazing pics (you need to post one soon of that fabulous smile i remember you having), prose, fabulous room, introspection and honesty. thanks for sharing!
live a little
be a gypsy
get around (get around)
get your feet up off the ground
live a little
get around.
i love you.
If my writing were as magical as yours, I wouldn't need to edit. As it stands, my editing is my best skill. Perhaps you and I should go into business together. Hurry and get out of school.
Oh Hannah, I love reading your poetic life story. Editing is overrated. Sometimes you do tend to go on and on when talking and you don't really know when to stop... but it's entertaining, and I love you for it!
Also, I wanted you to know that my robots are placed in a neat little line across the top of the shelf on my desk and they are smiling down upon me at this very moment. Edna28 misses you desperately. I can see it in her eyes.
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